Ahmadian Counselling

If you’ve been scrolling through Tiktok/Instagram reels, you’ve probably come across the term Imposter Syndrome. The term captures the experience of constant doubt, feeling like a fraud and thinking/believing that you are unqualified and incompetent. If you find yourself resonating with this term, it can be helpful to know that you are not alone. In fact, many counsellors and mental health professionals deal with imposter syndrome.

I can say that personally, I feel conflicted about this term. On the one hand, I find it helpful in capturing my own experience of self-doubt. It is a neat term that encompasses all of the thoughts and feelings that many of us have experienced. It also gives me an avenue to be able to talk about it with colleagues and clients.

On the other hand, I found that it pathologizes a very common experience for professionals and recent graduates. It somewhat makes it feel like we are always at fault for questioning and doubting our expertise. We might wonder if we were only able to cope with our anxiety or discomfort a little better then we wouldn’t have to deal with all of these thoughts. In my opinion, the term can cause us to focus on individual issues rather than recognizing the systemic and societal factors that might be attributing to the constant feelings of self-doubt.

In this blog post, I am going to share my own journey of wrestling with imposter syndrome and share with you some of the strategies that have been helpful for me. I am not writing this article from the perspective of someone who has been able to get rid of all of their self-doubt. However, I hope that in reading it, you might begin to view imposter syndrome a little differently.

I also recognize that each of us is different. We have our own unique experiences and circumstances. I am fully aware that there is not one strategy that fits everyone. If you are struggling with imposter syndrome, I highly encourage you to book a counselling session. In these sessions, you can further explore the root of these feelings and come up with your own personalized strategy for coping with them. If you are interested in finding a counsellor, please review my services or check out the BCACC Directory.

My Journey with Imposter Syndrome

After graduating from my Masters’s program, I (similar to many recent graduates) experienced the painful world of “Imposture Syndrome”. I doubted my skills as a counsellor. I questioned why anyone trusted me to see clients. I also felt terrible that I had these doubts. I wondered what does it mean that I am having these doubts? I found it extremely difficult to make space for my lack of confidence.

It felt like a personal issue that I had to find a solution to and get rid of. After all, it is a syndrome and what does the medical model say about syndromes? We must find a cure. So I went on a hunt for the cure for Imposter Syndrome. I googled and tried all the little techniques. I stood in front of the mirror and stated all of my accomplishments. I re-read the end of the practicum evaluation that my supervisor wrote to convince myself that I was qualified. I told myself that I am a great counsellor and I listened as my colleagues confirmed that I was qualified. I am not going to lie, these techniques helped a little. I mean it was nice to be complimented and to remind myself of my accomplishments. However, I still felt like a fraud. The more others complimented me, the more I thought “ they don’t know. I have fooled them all”. According to my brain, I was a master manipulator that was capable of convincing and fooling highly qualified counsellors with more than 15 years of experience in the field.

Does this sound at all familiar? If so, I hope you can find a little bit of solace in knowing that you are not alone.

What helped me on my journey with Imposter syndrome was reframing the term Imposter Syndrome, finding a mentor, and acceptance & self-compassion.

Reframing Imposter Syndrome

My attempt to google Imposter Syndrome and read about it was actually helpful. I found out that research has shown that minorities ( including women, people of colour, LGBTQ+ & individuals with disabilities) are disproportionately impacted by imposter syndrome. My curious brain lit up and wondered why?

I recognized that everyone feels a little bit of doubt when joining a new company or starting a new profession. This nervousness is normal. However, for marginalized community members, this nervousness is amplified by their constant battles with systemic bias. What do I mean by this? Well, imagine you are a cis-gendered woman with a Ph.D. in Electrical Engineering and are venturing into a male-dominated career such as data science. The lack of female representation will inevitably bring up questions about belonging. You might constantly feel this pressure to prove your worth. After all, how often have we seen the message ” women can do it as well as men”? There is this implicit pressure to prove that as a woman, a person of colour, a member of the LGBTQ+ community or a person with disabilities, we are qualified for our jobs. It would then make sense that while we are experiencing this pressure, there would be no room for saying, ” I don’t know”. However, there is no way that one could be an expert in everything, especially at the beginning of their career. The pressure to have to know everything to prove our worth combined with the reality that we can’t possibly know everything amplifies our experience of Imposter Syndrome. We feel like a fraud because we think we need to know everything but the truth is that we can’t know everything. If you’d like to learn more about this, I highly recommend reading Tulshyan & Burey’s article titled ” Stop Telling Women They have Imposter Syndrome”.

I also want to make a quick note here that I am in no way saying that only minorities are impacted by imposter syndrome. In fact, I’ve had many clients who don’t fit within the traditional model of being considered a minority who also experience and wrestle with feeling like a fraud. What I am saying is that we need to recognize systemic and societal expectations and how they impact our experiences. The truth is that our society doesn’t leave space for saying ” I don’t know” or ” that is not something I am familiar with”. So, here is a side note for any managers or leaders who are reading this post, I highly encourage you to create a working environment that encourages, rewards and normalizes not having all the answers.

For me recognizing the systemic reasons that were attributing to the development and maintenance of self-doubt was very helpful. It allowed me to reframe Imposter Syndrome from an individual issue to a societal issue. This meant that I didn’t have to carry the burden of curing it. It also helped me take the next step.

Finding a Mentor

Finding a mentor that I could go to for guidance and support was really helpful. Especially finding one that had similar experiences as me. For me, this meant finding a clinical supervisor who was also a woman of color. We had multiple sessions talking about Imposter Syndrome. This step helped normalize my self-doubt. It allowed me to recognize that others have also gone through this path and made it through. That others have also experienced self-doubt and questioned their skills.

It also helped with that feeling of guilt and shame. I find that we often try to hide our self-doubt because we think it is something to be ashamed of. In these situations, it is best to talk about it with someone else. Sometimes when we are feeling so ashamed and hide it, we might feel stuck. When we can talk out loud with someone else who validates and normalizes that experience, we are no longer paralyzed with shame and can take the next steps.

She also provided me with guidance and encouraged self-reflection. One of the best questions that she asked me was ” Why do you feel the need to have all the answers?”. If you are struggling with Imposter Syndrome, I also encourage you to journal your thoughts on that question.

Of course, I recognize that it is not easy for every single individual in every single field to find a mentor that exactly fits their experience. Therefore, I would recommend that if you are having difficulties finding a mentor, it can also be really helpful to speak to a counsellor. The counselling environment is a safe non-judgmental space that can provide you with validation and the warmth needed to feel seen and heard. This allows you to move to the next step.

Acceptance & Self-Compassion

My final step on my journey has been acceptance and self-compassion. I put the two together because they are complementary. I have referred to this as a final step but I think it is best described as a new journey. Acceptance and Self-Compassion are things that I have to work on each day. What does this look like? This means accepting that none of us know everything. It means reminding yourself that not having all the answers is not a personal failure. It means giving yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them.

A metaphor that I like using with my clients who are early in their careers is that if they have never flown an airplane and they are asked to fly one, would they feel like a failure if they didn’t know how to fly it? What if they had read all the books on flying a plane and this was their first time flying an actual plane by themselves? Wouldn’t it be normal to feel nervous? Wouldn’t it be normal for them to be considered less experienced than others? Does this mean they are a fraud? Or does it mean that they are just beginning their career?

I hope you found this article helpful. If you are interested in other topics, please leave a comment and if I find that it is within my area of expertise, I will make sure to write a blog post on it.